Time just disappears I find. Every year, there is less time to hit the gym, keep up with your friends, family, eat clean, go to the shops. In order to manage your own life, you literally have to pull together a strategy and be fairly regimented. For me, the relationships with friends and family are at the top of my priority list, along with pursuing passions and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Lately, I've been upset by several friends agonising over deteriorating friendships, and the pain you go through with a friendship breakdown is not dissimilar to that of a romantic relationship falling apart and I feel their pain. Both are incredibly sweet and thoughtful girls that have been experiencing longstanding friendships begin to take a turn for the worse. My initial advice to them was of course to confront the friends about what was bothering them. Someone that cares about you will always take your thoughts and feelings into consideration and try and see their side and see why their actions (or sometimes lack thereof!) have resulted in their so-called mate's pain.
Unfortunately, in both instances, my friends have been ignored. I've been in similar situations and it is so hard to let a friendship go. Like a partner, at the end of a relationship. But if people are disrespecting you, your feelings and avoiding spending time with you...why continue to pursue it? Isn't it better to either "break up" or just let it dissipate? Isn't it more painful to drag it out, when your actions aren't reciprocated? And even more to the point, why?
The situations that I have experienced, that are similar in the past, I have also been gutted and tried to hang on for dear life. But in the past couple of years I realised that often it's not the friendship you are holding on to, because of course at this stage, the relationship has devolved, so it's even more intangible than you thought? You have to realise your own self-worth and let it go. You have maybe grown out of each other and started to pave your separate paths, which is so incredibly normal. OR I guess, on the occasion, people can be mean. It's not the ideal, and you'd wish that it wasn't the case, but it is true. People can be harsh and backstabbing and not inclusive; if they don't care enough to apologise and take the needed steps to right their wrongs... they are NOT worth your time.
With increasingly less time to juggle the tasks we need to juggle day to day, work, life, relationships... we need to channel our energies into people who have equal amounts of time for us as we do for them. It's integral to our happiness and success in life to do so - and you deserve that respect, love and reciprocation in your life.
Have you guys ever dealt with friendship breakdowns? How did yours go down?